Tag Archives: pain

Someone Call 9-1-1, I lost My Ass!

20 Feb

To be fair, only some of my ass is missing. No need for law enforcement, just yet.

When I look back on all the years of abuse my body has endured, my heart breaks for it. I’ve neglected it, stretched it, distorted it, beaten it to a bloody pulp and left it for dead. I gave up on it. I cursed at it and called it names. All this, and it’s still standing.  That’s not to say it didn’t get revenge. Not. At. All. My body bitch-slapped me and paid me back in spades – pancreatitis, diabetes, joint problems, chronic pain, sleep apnea, fat rash (don’t pretend you have no idea what I’m talking about), migraines (high blood sugar), fertility problems, can’t-tie-my-own-shoes-itus (it’s real, folks). I’m sure you can imagine that all that would make anyone want to give up. And I did- big time.

But the after the second time I was in the hospital with pancreatitis, something clicked. I knew exactly what I had to do, and I knew exactly how to do it. I didn’t care if it meant “giving up” French fries and three-inch thick cheeseburgers with a side of onion rings and ranch dressing…I was so over this. So cliché, I know, but I made a resolution for New Year’s to make 2012 The Year of Change. It made sense. This year we’ve begun the adoption process, and I knew deep down that if I continued on this path of self-destruction, I might not be around to take care of a child, much less keep up with one. While I was in the hospital, I learned that I won a free gym membership, a personal trainer (I actually have two ‘cause that’s how I roll) AND an Xbox Kinect, courtesy of this gym.

Seriously?! Could the universe be trying to tell me something? Basically what’s going on here is that there is someone above watching out for me, and I’ve been give every single tool imaginable to make this happen, y’all. It’s week three, and so far, I’ve lost almost 4 lbs. Not mind-blowing, but there are 4 lbs. of my ass lying around somewhere out there. I’ll take it! Never give up, never surrender! (did I just quote Buzz Lightyear? Hell yes, I did).